lolqdb

quote #3610 (score 50%)

< AVirusInside> I just told a bag of turkish dried apricots that the armenian genocide is a fact. it said nothing because it is just dried fruit.

quote #3609 (score 50%)

<hep> i honestly think you got my gender and i got yours

quote #3608 (score 50%)

<+incog> did push[RAX] just whine to you for unban LiteralKa

<@LiteralKa> incog: i took a shower and had 5 people whining in pm

<+incog> then never unban

<+incog> and they wont ask

< push[RAX]> incog is an expert in being banned

<@LiteralKa> and proud

<@nza> he studied at banchester

quote #3607 (score 100%)

<aempirei> FINALLY

<aempirei> FINALLY

<aempirei> FINALLY

<aempirei> THE DEALER ANSWERS THE PHONE AFTER THE 120 HOUR HIATUS

<aempirei> THE CROWD GOES WILD

<aempirei> THE BARAGE OF PSEUDO-PSYCHOTIC FRANTIC CALLS OVER THE LAST 5 DAYS IS NOW AN EMBARASSMENT TO THE CALLER

<aempirei> I HANG MY HEAD IN SHAME

<aempirei> AS I GO COLLECT MY SWEET SWEET REWARD

quote #3606 (score 100%)

<aempirei> i was doing coke in the fitting room at neiman marcus

<aempirei> that was one of my favorite places to do cocaine at mid day

<hep> loooolll

<aempirei> cause you could get free alcohol

<aempirei> but all they had was champange and heineken

<hep> wtf is wrong with you

<hep> take cocaine to a party

<hep> not neiman marcus

<aempirei> dude

<aempirei> WHERE is the party at 1pm

<aempirei> on a saturday

<hep> aty your place

<hep> w/ enough coke

<aempirei> NEIMAN MARCUS FITTING ROOM

<aempirei> plyus you can try clothes on

<hep> dude

<hep> wtf is wrong with you

<hep> WHO WANTS TO TRY ON CLOTHES

<aempirei> dude

<aempirei> trying on clothes while doing drugs

<aempirei> is fun

<aempirei> sorry

<hep> i honestly think you got my gender and i got yours

<aempirei> the ideal job interview would take place at the neiman marcus sports wear section

<aempirei> where i get to do drugs and drink

<aempirei> and change clothes between questions

<hep> stop

<hep> just stop

quote #3605 (score 100%)

<aempirei> i almost fainted in a job once

<aempirei> err

<aempirei> interview

<aempirei> cause i was 2 excited to answer technical questions

<aempirei> right after doing a fat line of oxycontin and cocaine

<aempirei> in the womens bathroom

<aempirei> it was at uh

<aempirei> brightroll.com

<aempirei> but instead i took a job at uh

<aempirei> i forget

<aempirei> some place

<aempirei> who knows

<aempirei> oh

<aempirei> HOT OR NOT

<znutar> lol

<aempirei> wait no

<aempirei> at tagged

<aempirei> where all i did was berate interns

<aempirei> and snort drugs in the bathroom

<aempirei> for about 6 months or so

<aempirei> theres a lot of jobs i dont put on my resume

quote #3604 (score 100%)

<aempirei> why am i in the h4g1s facebook group

<bleep> Why are you on Facebook?

<aempirei> dude i use facebook

<aempirei> to find drug dealers

<aempirei> obviously

<tute> lol

<bleep> But aren't you clean now?

<aempirei> today ya

<aempirei> but after we buy a house

<aempirei> i wont be

<bleep> I thought you were doing it for the baby?

<aempirei> well

<aempirei> i thought about that

<aempirei> and decided ehh

<aempirei> maybe not

quote #3603 (score 50%)

<LiteralKa> Ø§ÙÙÙ Ø£ÙØ¨Ø± 

<LiteralKa> Ø§ÙÙÙ Ø£ÙØ¨Ø± 

<LiteralKa> Ø§ÙÙÙ Ø£ÙØ¨Ø± 

<LiteralKa> Ø§ÙÙÙ Ø£ÙØ¨Ø± 

<LiteralKa> Ø£Ø´ÙØ¯ Ø£Ù ÙØ§ Ø§ÙÙ Ø¥ÙØ§ Ø§ÙÙÙ 

<LiteralKa> Ø£Ø´ÙØ¯ Ø£Ù ÙØÙØ¯Ø§ Ø±Ø³ÙÙ Ø§ÙÙÙ 

<LiteralKa> ØÙ Ø¹ÙÙ Ø§ÙØµÙØ§Ø© 

<LiteralKa> ØÙ Ø¹ÙÙ Ø§ÙÙÙØ§Ø 

<LiteralKa> Ø§ÙØµÙØ§Ø© Ø®ÙØ± ÙÙ Ø§ÙÙÙÙ 

<LiteralKa> Ø§ÙÙÙ Ø£ÙØ¨Ø± 

<LiteralKa> ÙØ§ Ø¥ÙÙ Ø¥ÙØ§ Ø§ÙÙÙ

< LiteralKa> there

< LiteralKa> i am mulsim now

< Ellis_D> u and a billion other people

< LiteralKa> peace be upon them

quote #3602 (score 100%)

<znutar> I'm giving strangers voight-kampff on omegle and man, there's a lot of replicants out there

quote #3601 (score 50%)

<aempirei> i have some weed in the trash

<dukeku> dont smoke that trashweed

<aempirei> that i assumed i vaporized all the THC off of

<aempirei> since i smoked it off foil

<aempirei> i did last nite 

<t12> lol

<aempirei> and i was like

<t12> are you freebasing weed

<aempirei> brain-thinking

<aempirei> yea dude

<dukeku> lol

<dukeku> what

<dukeku> why would you do that

<aempirei> my brain was going

<aempirei> it was doing brain stuff

<aempirei> i was like dang

<aempirei> i TOTALLY forgot what critical thinking was like

quote #3600 (score 100%)

<aempirei> my mom totally went on a 4 year flip out

<aempirei> disappeared to texas and shit

<ninjalie> lol

<ninjalie> are you sure shes not actually on meth

<aempirei> wehn i was K-3

<aempirei> yeah she was on meht for 2 years

<aempirei> which was cool

<aempirei> beacuse i didnt have to do any chores

quote #3599 (score 100%)

<tute> do you have your wifes name tatooed on your colarbone ?

<aempirei> yes

<aempirei> i got that 3 days after i met her

<tute> dang

<aempirei> i told her if we break up girls think that is hot

<aempirei> and then if we dont

<aempirei> girls wanna bang me just to dis her

<mdl> loooool

<tute> lollll

<aempirei> so its a sweet tattoo

<aempirei> girls are such haters with eachother

<aempirei> women are so competetive with eachother

<aempirei> so they'll hate fuck you just to imaginarlity attack your ex

quote #3598 (score 100%)

<LiteralKa> n e yordle in heaven

<the> yordles don't goto heaven

<popeye> which is why im trying to go to hell as hard as i can

quote #3597 (score 100%)

<ScheisseGern> Swedish police have confirmed that rumours of a man driving around in a white van seeking to snatch kids from schools in the Stockholm areas is nothing more than an 'urban myth'.

<ScheisseGern> he will, however, happily sell you some speakers

quote #3596 (score 0%)

<incog> nerds just hate sopa because its an anagram of soap

quote #3595 (score 50%)

<jakk> do you use a handkerchief

<aempirei> as a pocket square i do

<aempirei> or as a bandana

<t12> how about a hankerchief with the hanekrchief code table

<t12> as its pattern

quote #3594 (score 50%)

< bzb> LITERALKA CURRENTELY PURSUING AND BACHEOLORS OF SCIENCE IN MIRC OPERATORSHIP AT KHALED MARDAM-BEY UNIVERSITY

quote #3593 (score 50%)

<incog> so whos up to ddos some feds

<popeye> i dont want prison

<incog> then dont get caught

quote #3592 (score 50%)

<ScheisseGern> got dem sieverts in my sizzurp got dem curies in my cup

<ScheisseGern> got dem bcq

<ScheisseGern> got dem gray's in my anatomy, them roentgens in my ride

<ScheisseGern> i got dem bcq

<ScheisseGern> "holler"

quote #3591 (score 100%)

<aempirei> i got my medical records

<aempirei> from my surgery

<aempirei> its like 50% "THIS GUY IS ON SERIOUS DRUGS"

<aempirei> but also im characterized as

<aempirei> "A PLEASANT 30 YEAR OLD MALE WITH THE FOLLOWING DIANOSIS" 1. SPIRAL FEMUR FRACTURE 2. ACUTE OPIOD ADDICTION 

<aempirei> i gotta redact this before i give it to the ortho

<aempirei> so i can continue to get meds