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#1145

+ | - (76.92 / 13)

<hello> you've always called your teachers by their first names?
<mikael> yes
<hello> what the fuck
<mikael> and everyone else I've ever talked to
<hello> well in canada and the U.S. you generally call older people Mr. or Mrs. Whatevertheirlastnameis
<hello> or Ms.
*** Gudrow JOIN
<mikael> o hi Mr Gudrow

#3847

+ | - (91.89 / 37)

#flashsupport

<@incog> Her tight brown-eye opened wide and a mass as thick as a cardboard tube
<@incog> nigga ive seen cardboard tubes of all sizes
<@incog> you are the worst poowriter ive ever seen
< popeye> yeah
< popeye> i could do better
< vxp> and probably have

#716

+ | - (76.92 / 13)

buttes #cockes

<octalc0de> here's a great way to cheat at risk inconspicuously
<octalc0de> replace the d6s with d8s
<octalc0de> it gives the attacker such an advantage it's not funny :(
<octalc0de> (all of them, including the defender dice)
<Al> octalc0de calculated all the variables while taking a shit between turns
<Al> he used up 18 toilet rolls

#1537

+ | - (75 / 4)

buttesnet #cockes

<incog> somebody needs to nuke a nuclear power plant just to see what it would do
<mikael> it'd cancel out obviously

#427

+ | - (70 / 10)

<Gudrow> ashcroft thinks 'intellectual property theft' is like having your mind read or your brain cut out of your head or something

#405

+ | - (75 / 12)

<@radeon> I found a trumpet in the alley last night.
<@radeon> still shiny, not much corrosion.
<@radeon> i played for hours

#3492

+ | - (66.67 / 6)

freenode #wikipedia-en

< Peter-C> Ironholds - does sugestive words on a photo make it porn legally?

Comment: re: http://a6.sphotos.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-snc4/63851_129148810467044_128466117201980_140127_8044627_n.jpg

#3403

+ | - (75 / 4)

buttesnet

<incog> my sister had 2 white mice and they both got horrible cancers, we took them to the vets and they wanted £60 each to euthanize them
<incog> so when we got home i told her i would take them back to the vets and have them put down
<incog> i went into the back yard and flatted them with a spade
<incog> went to the pub for an hour and came back saying they were gone
<incog> saved £120

#452

+ | - (84.62 / 13)

<afed> because bsd is the most popular embedded unix due to its licences
<afed> and the unix of choice for internet infrastructure
<zenwhen> embedded
<moira> buttfed
<zenwhen> more like in bed DED
<hello_> am i gay for liking U2 x_Q

#88

+ | - (68 / 25)

Evolnet

<rolloffle> Remember, the longer your GMail username, the smaller your penis is
<lysol> totally.
<Ich> lol rolloffle: mine is ICHBINDASWALROSS@GMAIL.COM
<rolloffle> Ich: YOU MUST NEED TWEEZERS TO MASTURBATE
<Ich> 6 3/4 inches
<Ich> maybe we should plot it on a graph

#728

+ | - (66.67 / 9)

buttes #cockes

<@emofed> i'm not sure how you can troll freenet
<@emofed> except by uploading normal porn and claiming it's child porn

#1510

+ | - (58.33 / 12)

buttes #cockes

<Winkie> anyone in here that knows linux?
<wangzang> i can't even read.

#3152

+ | - (57.14 / 7)

buttesnet

<incog> i would be scared shitless in a kitchen, my idea of cooking is opening a tin of spaghetti-o's and eating them cold
<incog> and by eating i mean drinking
<incog> NO SPOON CREW
<afed> you're supposed to fold the lid into a spoon

#638

+ | - (66.67 / 12)

buttes #buttes

<@wilder> hello how did you get your master trolling skills
<@hello> I just looked at everything you do and did the exact opposite
<@ScheisseGern> ha
<@ScheisseGern> @burned
<@edouard>                                   )
<@edouard>                   (           (  (
<@edouard>                    ) (           ))
<@edouard>                   (            )//
<@edouard>                  _ )  ))       __
<@edouard>           ,-----' |  ((      <'__`)            
<@edouard>           | //  : |   )       #o)#:       
<@edouard>           | //  : | )/        ###'      
<@edouard>           | //  : |           ,###.      
<@edouard>           `-----._|     __  #######      
<@edouard>            _/___\_    //)_`//  | ||]     
<@edouard>      _____[_______]_[~~-_ (.L_/  ||
<@edouard>     [____________________]' `\_,/'/
<@edouard>       ||| /          |||  ,___,'./
<@edouard>       |||           |||,'______|
<@edouard>       ||| /          /|| I==||
<@edouard>       |||        __/_||  __||__
<@edouard>   -----||-/------`-._/||-o--o---o---
<@edouard>     ~~~~~'
<@edouard>                  BURNED.
<@wilder> you're fuckin' dead

#3186

+ | - (100 / 4)

buttesnet #onehitter

<Winkie> if the internet was made by apple you could only connect to 5 subnets per day

#3393

+ | - (100 / 4)

buttesnet

<schizoid> give me some examples of us govt intrusion into private life, ie. warrantless wiretapping
<Winkie> schizoid: DOMA
<schizoid> defense of marrage act?
<Winkie> schizoid: ya
<schizoid> eh, looking for something with a little more punch
<Winkie> warrantless wiretapping
<schizoid> >:p
<schizoid> that is what i said!
<vxp> war on drugs duh
<Winkie> o
<Winkie> i was too high
<Winkie> to think of that

#1499

+ | - (75.76 / 33)

buttesnet #cockes

<Al> The latest Sacramento resident to be questioned by federal agents in possible threats against President Bush is a 14-year-old girl with a heart on her backpack and braces on her teeth
<Gudrow> AND MURDER IN HER SOUL

#2398

+ | - (75 / 4)

buttesnet #cockes

<Winkie> why don't you use SOAP?
<Winkie> no soap module for tcl?
<@weasel> cause i'm a filthy furry

#2836

+ | - (76.92 / 13)

<@dsp> so weev i hear you have aids
<@dsp> congratulations
<@weev> not likely
<@weev> its really hard to get HIV from a vagina
<@weev> i had unprotected sex with a couple HIV+ vaginas
<@weev> in a night
<@weev> its very unlikely i pozzed
<@weev> i havent seroconverted yet
<@mdl> why did you do that
<@weev> we were on mdma

Comment: I guess in hindsight it wasn't that great an idea.

#3022

+ | - (66.67 / 6)

buttesnet

<incog> jesus h hitler, what is wrong with my shoulder
<incog> am i some kind of ultra spastic why the fuck is it cramping up
<incog> im not doing fuck all
<incog> maybe if i complain enough on irc it will stop

#3362

+ | - (60 / 5)

buttesnet

<Mr_X> but yeah, being sick is balls
<Mr_X> got nothing to do but sit at home, watch star wars and jerk off
<Mr_X> i got the hi-def version too
<Mr_X> you can totally see leia's nipple slip in this one scene

#1058

+ | - (83.33 / 12)

bantown #bantown

< abortion> i love how
< abortion> when you have a "low on diskspace" error
< abortion> it gets written to about 5 log files

#803

+ | - (77.78 / 9)

buttes #cockes

<sam> i'm a student of wielding
<gudrow> don't you go to a trade school for that?
<sam> gudrow: normally, but since I was diagnosed with Aspergers Syndrome (AS) my IQ has skyrocketed and I'm now applying to Harvard
<gudrow> ah, good deal
<gudrow> could you send me a vial of your blood so i can infect myself?
<sam> it's a sexually transmitted syndrome
<gudrow> semen, then
<sam> I'll have to install a semen collector in my hugbox
<jolly-pecker> is aspengers fatal like virginity?
<jolly-pecker> what if you have both?

#1226

+ | - (77.78 / 18)

<moira_> mroach is a stupid faggot, and he's interested in the stupidest, most mundane things ever
<moira_> I bet mroach takes night classes in pastel paint-by-numbers
<moira_> mroach's favorite flavor of ice cream is "water"
<moira_> mroach's favorite TV program is the test pattern that come on at 2 AM
<mroach> i should watch trainspotting
<moira_> you should jam a fork in your eye, you fucking faggot
<moira_> I have no idea why mroach has me on ignore, I have such good advice for him
<moira_> for example, I think it'd be neat if he dipped his balls into a coffee grinder

#779

+ | - (80 / 10)

buttes #cockes

<ScheisseGern> your average dnb listener is either some dorky aspergers trainspotter
<ScheisseGern> who stands across from the dj and bobs his head
<ScheisseGern> or some thuggy chav who now works in a call center to pay for his Es
<ScheisseGern> and posts big threads OI WHERES THE GURLZ AT
<lncog> do they do that e-threat thing
<lncog> FONR TUP 2 ME LIKE DAT BOY AND ILL FUKIN KILL U

#2778

+ | - (50 / 6)

buttesnet #onebutan

<@wntd> The image of the U.S. abroad has improved slightly, according to a new Pew poll, but only in anticipation of seeing the back of this president.
<@mith> they world likes old white ass
<@mith> who can blame them

#862

+ | - (75 / 20)

buttes #cockes

<rolloffle> mikael: I'm starting to think that you're just offended because I didn't shit my pants over yet another overproduced pitchfork darling
<mikael> "overproduced" is prly the most annoying adjective ever invented
<Zaphod> and yet it's so apt for so many things
<rolloffle> mikael: the truth hurts!
<mikael> no, I'm offended that you suck at listening to music
<rolloffle> haha
<rolloffle> mikael: some of us are blessed with the ability to determine how much we enjoy a piece of music after hearing it
<mikael> the problem is you're a critic in the sense of this quote:
<mikael> Asking a critic to name his favorite book is like asking a butcher to name his favorite pig.
<rolloffle> mikael: I can use fortune too
<mikael> I think I'm adding you to my ignore list
<mikael> that's a special honor, rolloffle, I've never ignored anyone before
<rolloffle> well, see, if you can't even tell what you're doing right now, that may explain why you can't even tell if you like a piece of music or not
<mikael> pat yourself on the back for being such an excellent troll
<-- mikael (mikael@jew-D02F1CF6.cust.bredbandsbolaget.se) has left #cockes (rcirc on GNU Emacs 22.0.50.1)
<bleep> bahahahahahah
<bleep> Haha mikael got hurt
<incog> rip sweden
<dsp> maybe emacs just broke
<dsp> it wouldn't be the first time

#3070

+ | - (75 / 4)

buttesnet #onebutan

<incog > tcl . the [hotbutton] movement is the single best argument for mandatory [hotbutton] classes in school
<Shaniqua > the alternative medicine movement is the single best argument for mandatory marijuana classes in school

#2565

+ | - (66.67 / 9)

buttes #cockes

*** mode/#cockes [+b Fishmech!*@*] by will
*** mode/#cockes [+b i!*@*] by will
*** mode/#cockes [+b don't!*@*] by will
*** mode/#cockes [+b know!*@*] by will
*** mode/#cockes [+b who!*@*] by will
*** mode/#cockes [+b let!*@*] by will
*** mode/#cockes [+b you!*@*] by will
*** mode/#cockes [+b back!*@*] by will
*** mode/#cockes [+b in!*@*] by will
*** mode/#cockes [+b here!*@*] by will
*** mode/#cockes [+b but!*@*] by will
*** mode/#cockes [+b get!*@*] by will
*** mode/#cockes [+b out!*@*] by will
(@will) lol i fail

#3754

+ | - (71.43 / 7)

<jak> i found the girl who dumped me in 6th grade because i refused to correctly pronounce her last name
<hex> loll
<jak> its farken but i would always say fartin'
<hex> are you gonna `reconnect' with her
<hex> `in the ass'
<jak> no i sent her a message that said sup <first name> fartin

#3821

+ | - (91.43 / 35)

#flashsupport

<sherman> those fonts
<sherman> THOSE FUCKIN FONTS
<nop> DAT FONT
<sherman> im having really bad CDE flashbacks here
<nop> thx sun
<nop> also fuck cde
<sherman> crappy desktop environment
<sherman> with an 8 color framebuffer so only the frontmost window gets the colors, all the background ones switch to the foreground colors
<sherman> combined with activate on mouse hover = DISCO SUN
<nop> putting you on ignore sherman, you're just a repeat of the 90s
<sherman> wow rude

#3410

+ | - (80 / 5)

buttesnet

<incog> everybody likes to pile on gabe newell but when i fwd'd all my diet pill spam to him
<incog> instead of blocking me
<incog> he unsigned me from the spam mailing lists
<incog> thats fan dedication

#1810

+ | - (84.62 / 13)

buttes #cockes

<zeba> I hope none of the butans ever become president
<zeba> they'll get the launch button redesigned
<zeba> and hide all the useful funtionality
<zeba> it'll just be 1 chrome button on a white plastic background
<zeba> ONE BUTAN
<zeba> ONE NATION
<zeba> UNDER STEVE

#1215

+ | - (77.78 / 9)

buttes #cockes

--- Nick is now known as FT
<dsp> FT you're missing 'A' in the middle of your nick
<enigmo> dsp you're missing a "heepfucker" before the p
<dsp> you're missing a ron at the end of your nick
<enigmo> g1
<dsp> the crowd goes wild

#1975

+ | - (71.43 / 14)

buttes #sass

<Multipass> So I'm listening to MSNBC and the newscaster is interviewing a student over the phone, and this is their exchange:
<Multipass> "So you recorded the shooting on your cell phone?"
<Multipass> "Yes."
<Multipass> "Weren't you terrified?"
<Multipass> "Well I'm from the middle east...so no not really."

#3156

+ | - (85.71 / 7)

buttesnet

<infowarrior> lol vxp was right AJ is getting pretty intense towards the end of this vid
<infowarrior> hes just about to cry
<infowarrior> although he gets like this every show
<infowarrior> at some point
<infowarrior> one time he talked in a calm voice for over an hour and i eventually turned the show off cause it wasnt interesting anymore
<infowarrior> i lied, that never happened

#923

+ | - (53.33 / 15)

buttes #cockes

<rolloffle> zero's missions are the second most annoying set of missions in GTA
<rolloffle> only #2 because I can actually do them
<incog> driving cross country with a car that you have to not destroy is a bitch too
<incog> you get halfway there and hit a tiny little limp
<incog> lump
<incog> and your car flips
<incog> and no amount of screaming and punching the monitor will right it

#1948

+ | - (71.43 / 7)

buttesnet #cockes

<@bleep> I want a spectrum analyzer
<@bleep> And I want a fucking huge oscilloscope
<@bleep> And I want to attach them to my balls

#568

+ | - (70 / 10)

<@jonnii> i'm gonna get "acute angles divide my path that i had lost"
<@simon> ok
<@natv> If I found an ipod with that engraved I would stomp on it for a good 3 minutes

#2113

+ | - (76.92 / 13)

<@DiKKy> K
<@DiKKy> GROG WHY R U AVOIDING MY IGNORE
< captain_g> lol dikky has ignored people
< captain_g> DiKKy: do you hold the shift key or use capslock
<@DiKKy> SHIFT KEY OF COURSE
<@DiKKy> DO U THINK IM A RETARD ?

#1438

+ | - (66.67 / 12)

buttesnet #cockes

<Al> i can't think of a time i've been on irc very soon before or after having sex, really
<Al> the two activities generally occupy pretty much opposite poles of my spare time
<dsp> is that why you're so often on irc al

#3501

+ | - (100 / 3)

hardchats #anti

<Mutiny> during buring man is when SF is actually tolerable

#794

+ | - (75 / 20)

buttes #cockes

<moira_> the only thing to which I am addicted is THE LORD'S LOVE
<moira_> also I really like playing basketball with 14 year old japanese girls

#503

+ | - (84.62 / 13)

<@darren> i've had so many miscarriages now i just laugh and flush the toilet

#2682

+ | - (85.71 / 7)

buttesnet #cockes

<Mr_X> i like it that now when people have to differentiate between the two different kinds of indians they say "casino" and "tech support"

#844

+ | - (60 / 10)

buttes #cockes

<hello> Kalle is CrAzY
<hello> his social anxiety disorder is currently battling it out with his GRIDS for control over his body. please forgive him.

#2037

+ | - (79.17 / 24)

buttes #cockes

<a43> lots of nazis in chile I hear
<a43> (srsly)
<Gudrow> maybe that's why chile gives me gas
<Gudrow> L-O-L

#3243

+ | - (60 / 5)

buttesnet

<midvinter> sometimes i have dreams when i go on a killing spree with like 2 handguns
<midvinter> but the bullets dont do anything no matter how much i shoot
<incog> turn no clip off idiot

#3286

+ | - (50 / 2)

buttesnet

<zapanig> did you buy some joints already rolled
<incog> just one, after winkie and his roommate were too stoned to roll for me
<zapanig> they are rolled nice but usu lame weed
<incog> fat as my thumb but it was mixed with tobacco replacement
<incog> (pencil shavings)
<incog> i gave about .5g to hzu on the last day because i was blazed and always get searched at the airport
<incog> i was searched and patted down four times, twice each way
<incog> then stopped by the popo at the bus station in bradford

#710

+ | - (90.91 / 11)

buttes #cockes

<zeba> irb(main):009:0> [1,2,3,3] - [3]
<zeba> => [1, 2]
<zeba> irb(main):010:0> [1,2,3] + [3]
<zeba> => [1, 2, 3, 3]
<zeba> irb(main):011:0> [1,2,3,3] - [3]
<zeba> => [1, 2]
<zeba> [1,2,3] + [3] - [2] - [2]
<zeba> => [1, 3, 3]
<zeba> irb(main):017:0> [2] - [2]
<zeba> => []
<mikael> hey keep experimenting maybe you'll get a paper out of it
<mikael> The Diverse Ways In Which Ruby Fails To Accomodate My Ivory-Tower Demands
<dsp> solution: WRITE A NEW LANGUAGE
<Excedrin> better yet, write a CFG for generating papers that complain about language X
<Excedrin> it's about a 2 day project in lisp

 3626 quotes approved; 25 pending approval.