lolqdb

50 random quotes

Home / Latest / Random ≥50 / Browse / Top 50 100 / Bottom 50 / Submit Quote / Search / RSS

#2497

+ | - (40 / 5)

buttesnet #cockes

<Fishmech> stats on nimp doesn't update very often
<Fishmech> i go to stats and they all say
<Fishmech> Owned by timecop on Sun, 11 Nov 2007
<rshxd> are you anime?
<Fishmech> no
<rshxd> then why does timecop own you

#2280

+ | - (75 / 8)

Buttesnet #cockes

<sma> catbus has tons of old ide drives filled with encrypted child pornography
<Catbus> i can see five from where i am sitting

#3757

+ | - (57.14 / 7)

#flashsupport

<ryan> tbh we should get a bunch of guns and recreate Beslan
<incog> can we have more childsex than deslan
<incog> seemed like a waste
<incog> even if they were non-whites as russians

#3038

+ | - (50 / 6)

buttesnet

<popeye> This article is about the technology and dog writer. For the queer studies professor, see Jonathan D. Katz.
<popeye> wtf is queer studies sounds like a made up term to mock academia
<popeye> thats like majoring in fudge packing
<popeye> do you have to take the final exam at a bathhouse
<popeye> is it an oral exam?
<popeye> are the tests rated 0 to 69?
<popeye> can you score a negative on the test or must the tests all be poz
<CoryDoctorow> you're good at this

#2133

+ | - (57.14 / 7)

buttesnet #cockes

<nbv4> holy crap the worlds largest women's prison is like 30 miles from my house
<weasel> nbv4: and yet not a single one will date you
<Al> nbv4: you may finally stand a chance of getting laid, then
<nbv4> you both are wrong

#3658

+ | - (83.33 / 6)

#flashsupport

<hex> there's actually a magazine for spergs
<hex> that's just sad
<incog> its called wired

#1255

+ | - (88.89 / 9)

buttes #cockes

--> jre (president@alyssahindlefanclub.ca) has joined #cockes
<jre> Is this #cockes chat?
<Raz> uh no this is #feetes chat
<Raz> for discussion of feet only
<jre> oh, my mistake
<-- jre (president@alyssahindlefanclub.ca) has left #cockes

#1244

+ | - (87.5 / 8)

buttes #cockes

<@rolloffle> chinee = ants
<@dsp> ants work together better
<@dsp> when is the last time you saw ants building walls so the other ants couldn't escape

#2038

+ | - (46.15 / 13)

<rolloffle> lolqdb rules

#2246

+ | - (80 / 5)

buttes #onebutan

< mixduptransistor> I am not an idiot
< mixduptransistor> I am in the top percentile of alabamians

#3048

+ | - (66.67 / 3)

synirc #yospos

<+subjectivepoison> my gf sat on my leg now my pants smell like vag juice what the hell
<@Sniep> i think she was trying to tell you something

#2770

+ | - (29.41 / 17)

trufflemongers #r4l-social

< DiKKy> I FUCKIN TOOTED AND IT REEKS LIKE SHIT
< DiKKy> I THINK ITS A PIECE OF POO STUCK IN MY BOXERS

Comment: gas reporting is mandatory

#254

+ | - (64.29 / 14)

Evolnet

<RAMBO_DEAD> --- Cannot join #java (Channel is invite only).
<RAMBO_DEAD> :-(
<incog> thats the first time ive seen you use and emoticon
<incog> it almost makes you human

#289

+ | - (54.55 / 11)

Evolnet

<coprophag> g0sp-hell, where DO U DOWNLOAD MP3S
<coprophag> 'THE INTERNET' IS NOT A VALID ANSWER

#2219

+ | - (70 / 10)

<@anisotropy> Sounds like communism
<@afed> from each according to his ability, to each according to his need
<@afed> i have a penis, need vagina
<@afed> she has vagina, needs penis
<@afed> therefore we are socialist siblings

#1806

+ | - (81.82 / 11)

buttes #cockes

<a43> my long-term goal in EVE online is to build a titan and name it Endlösung
<sam> "build a titan"
<sam> does that mean work on something for five years and have nothing to show?

#2631

+ | - (50 / 4)

buttesnet #gbs-fm

<kalleboo> even when I was being DDoSed I could still browse

#1626

+ | - (78.95 / 19)

buttesnet #cockes

<jnz>                       O        _.-_
<jnz>  PUNTME RIDES        <|\   __.'  o "-.
<jnz> CHATZILLA INTO    ___/---""      ,,,'  Grrr
<jnz>     BATTLE    __--"  L          __ ^^;
<jnz>       ____--""  ___        _-\"  `""
<jnz>   -===-------"""  "(  __-"  ,}
<jnz>                   .'_/"\
<jnz>                 .'/"  `\`._
<jnz>                 "-_c    "  '

Comment: submitted for posterity

#743

+ | - (87.5 / 8)

buttes #cockes

<dsp> irc is like yorkie
<dsp> IT'S NOT FOR GIRLS

#2393

+ | - (75 / 4)

buttesnet #cockes

<@strid> all you need to work for apple's PR department is a windows feature list and a thesaurus.

#3586

+ | - (100 / 2)

Hardchats #gnaa

< circle> What is LastMeasure?

#99

+ | - (77.27 / 22)

Evolnet

<KiSSy> LOL YES YOU CAN MOUNT VIDEO RAM AS SWAP SPACE
<KiSSy> HOW TOTALLY USELESS
<BSD> HEY WHY NOT MY GPU IS SO FAST ITS PROBABLY FASTER THAN XBOX LTES DECRYPT THE SIA
<BSD> CIA
<KiSSy> HEY GUYS I JUST SPENT $500 ON THE NEW ATI RADEON WITH 256MB SO I CAN MOUNT IT AS SWAP ON MY GENTOO BOX
<BSD> COME ON EVERYBODY
<BSD> LETS DECRIPT THE CIA WITH OUR VIDEO CARDS
<BSD> I HAVE SOME EXTRA PCI VIDEO CARDS AROUND I WILL USE THOSE TOO
<BSD> ILL MAKE A SYSTEM WITH NOTHING BUT PCI ATI RAGE II'S CRACKING THE CIA

#264

+ | - (64.71 / 17)

Evolnet

<penisbird> LOL
<penisbird> they glined one of my tor flooding bots
<penisbird> and one of the ops in the cahnnels was using the same Tor host
<penisbird> and got glined too

#2538

+ | - (75 / 8)

buttesnet #cockes

<Kalle> why do all alcoholism tests ask if you ever take a drink the morning after drinking
<Kalle> what does that have to do with alcoholism

#1912

+ | - (50 / 8)

buttesnet #cockes

<@Winkie> gps is very easily blocked by anything including skin
<@Al> good thing everyone i know covers their mobile phones with the flayed faces of their victims then

#1568

+ | - (76.47 / 17)

buttesnet #cockes

<pre> I got fired for posting on usenet
<pre> true story
<pre> I was posting on an asherons call newsgroup trolling the developers with shit like "YOUR GAME SUCKS YOU FUCKING CUNTS SUCK MY NUTS"
<pre> and I was at work
<pre> and I came in one day and my bosses had printouts of my posts
<pre> I was escorted from the building
<pre> You wouldn't believe how they found out. I had to use microsoft internet mail and news as my client. And in the settings it had the example name as "joe@microsoft.com"
<pre> So I used that
<pre> And the usenet people actually emailed joe at microsoft
<pre> Who then reported it to my company

#1600

+ | - (100 / 3)

Buttesnet #onebutan

<@andrzej> hoping to bump my 3.3 up to a 3.4 with my grades this semester
<@andrzej> gogo worst premed ever :-(
< stabby> 3.3 is a 4.0 in polish grades

#3412

+ | - (100 / 1)

buttesnet

<lncog> http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Category:Rape_in_fiction - pretty fucking tiny
<lncog> i could quadruple that category in 10 mins

#1394

+ | - (66.67 / 9)

buttes #cockes

<@znutar> thatguy was snoring hella loud when I left
<@olli-pekka> znutar: was thatguy fat
<@znutar> he gained some weight, yah
<@znutar> he's not like therapy goonish fat or anything
<@olli-pekka> what about pizza expert fat
<@znutar> possibly, could be
<@moira__> wait, thatguy gained weight since the last time you saw him?
<@moira__> is he a black hole now?

#1863

+ | - (71.43 / 7)

<sam> really stoned
<rolloffle> 4
<rolloffle> 2
<rolloffle> 0
<weasel> -2
<weasel> oh i thought it was an arithmetic progression

#138

+ | - (57.14 / 14)

Evolnet

<rkz-laptop> No sex for me
<rkz-laptop> she comes over
<rkz-laptop> starts crying
<rkz-laptop> and tells me her parents are having a devorce
<rkz-laptop> tonight was a failure
<kittense> for me too rkz.
<kittense> i got a hand job through cut off sweat pants
<kittense> :(
<g0sp-hell> kittense: You've got to be trolling, right?
<kittense> realy thought
<kittense> truth be known I'm a virgin
<kittense> <-- 33 yr old virgin who lives with mom

#3580

+ | - (100 / 2)

#flashsupport

<AbeVigodaIs> GOD I FUCKING HATE RETARDED REVIEWS ALONG THE LINE OF
<AbeVigodaIs> WHY ARE YOU DOING NEW RESEARCH
<AbeVigodaIs> AND NOT JUST USING MY SHIT THAT NO ONE CARES ABOUT
<AbeVigodaIs> goddammit you fucking asshole reviewer
<AbeVigodaIs> you might be anonymous here
<AbeVigodaIs> but I know exactly who you are you jerk

#493

+ | - (54.55 / 11)

<flowhase> i already like you guys
<HariSeldon> :P
* HariSeldon feels warm on the inside
* noradio pulls out of HariSeldon

#989

+ | - (75 / 16)

buttes #cockes

--- rolloffle has changed the topic to: /!\ BRING BACK DIKKY, DUMP HELLO /!\ | Vote: strip hello of O:line? Yes: 1 | No: 0
--- mdl has changed the topic to: /!\ BRING BACK DIKKY, DUMP HELLO /!\ | Vote: strip hello of O:line? Yes: 2 | No: 0
--- afed has changed the topic to: /!\ BRING BACK DIKKY, DUMP HELLO /!\ | Vote: strip hello of O:line? Yes: 3 | No: 0
--- Al has changed the topic to: /!\ BRING BACK DIKKY, DUMP HELLO /!\ | Vote: strip hello of O:line? Yes: 8,352 | No: 0
--- rolloffle has changed the topic to: /!\ BRING BACK DIKKY, DUMP HELLO /!\ | Vote: strip hello of O:line? Yes: 4 | No: 0
<wolffenstein> rolloffle: add my vote i don't want to mess up topic
--- rolloffle has changed the topic to: /!\ BRING BACK DIKKY, DUMP HELLO /!\ | Vote: strip hello of O:line? Yes: 5 | No: 0
--- bleep has changed the topic to: /!\ BRING BACK DIKKY, DUMP HELLO /!\ | Vote: strip hello of O:line? Yes: 6 | No: 0
--- parameter has changed the topic to: /!\ BRING BACK DIKKY, DUMP HELLO /!\ | Vote: strip hello of O:line? Yes: 7 | No: 0
--- riffic has changed the topic to: /!\ BRING BACK DIKKY, DUMP HELLO /!\ | Vote: strip hello of O:line? Yes: 7 | No: -1
--- incog has changed the topic to: /!\ BRING BACK DIKKY, DUMP HELLO /!\ | Vote: strip hello of O:line? Yes: 8 | No: -1 | join the HELLO LIBERATION MOVEMENT
<fi> is the goal of the hello liberation movement to liberate him from his o-line?
--- rbk has changed the topic to: /!\ BRING BACK DIKKY, DUMP HELLO /!\ | Vote: strip hello of O:line? Yes: 9 | No: -1 | join the HELLO LIBERATION MOVEMENT
--- Bob has changed the topic to: /!\ BRING BACK DIKKY, DUMP HELLO /!\ | Vote: strip hello of O:line? Yes: 10 | No: -1 | join the HELLO LIBERATION MOVEMENT | Halp liberate HELLO from the chains of O line, introduce him to the freedom of +b
--- ScheisseGern has changed the topic to: linux
<rolloffle> for a gay Jew ScheisseGern is pretty drama-phobic

Comment: Voting hello off the island

#3197

+ | - (80 / 5)

hardchats #gnaa

<mikey> and neither group will ever figure out who i actually am, because i'm using a swedish vpn to connect to both nets.

#3643

+ | - (87.5 / 8)

<@sloth> vhost set
< FJD> thanks babe
< FJD> brb
-!- FJD [~lol@maxchats-36gbt4.fios.verizon.net] has quit [Quit: Yo cunt]
-!- FJD [~lol@pool-71-99-137-68.tampfl.fios.verizon.net] has joined #gnaa

#1420

+ | - (100 / 3)

buttesnet #cockes

<@Catbus> okay i am going to go socialize or something
<@Catbus> EXIT STAGE BASEMENT
<@rolloffle> socialize
<@rolloffle> i.e. attend a LUG in a fox costume

#1975

+ | - (71.43 / 14)

buttes #sass

<Multipass> So I'm listening to MSNBC and the newscaster is interviewing a student over the phone, and this is their exchange:
<Multipass> "So you recorded the shooting on your cell phone?"
<Multipass> "Yes."
<Multipass> "Weren't you terrified?"
<Multipass> "Well I'm from the middle east...so no not really."

#2732

+ | - (50 / 10)

buttes #onebutan

<will> sma: vegetables are expensive duh, i have reduced my diet to generic nutrition supplements and meal bars that i can purchase at walmart
<will> it's much more efficient
<will> it's sort of like being a jetson without a flying car
<sma> i fucking hate all of you

#237

+ | - (53.85 / 13)

Evolnet #gnaa

<frot> [11:12:43] <@penisbird> I KNOW MY PENIS IS SIGNIFICANTLY SMALLER THAN YOUR LAST
<frot> [11:12:43] <@penisbird> BOYFRIEND'S BUT I DO HAVE THAT LOVELY PIERCING!!!
<frot> lol
<frot> story of my life
<penisbird> how do you have sex with a penis piercing
<penisbird> can you remove it
<frot> just jam that shit in there :)
<rolloffle> jam your junk
<frot> i could remove it if i wanted to
<frot> it would probably be hard
<frot> lol
<rolloffle> <snuck> I DONT HAVE TO TAKE IT OUT TO CLEAN IT
<rolloffle> <snuck> AFTER 4 MONTHS IT CLEANS ITSELF, YOU KNOW?
<frot> lol just wash it in the shower lol
<penisbird> lol does it rust
<frot> no
<frot> lol
<frot> surgical steel
<koprophag> rusty secx
<rolloffle> if you die, do they take it out before they bury you?
<koprophag> HEY BABY LET ME PUT MY CORODED RIG IN U
<penisbird> lol they probably jewed you out and put stainless
<penisbird> it'll rust in a few years
<penisbird> and irritate your cock
<koprophag> and your dick will look like
<rolloffle> the statue of liberty's torch
<frot> lol it's been in almost 4 years now
<penisbird> lol it'll turn green
<frot> rolloffle: lol i would hope i won't be running around into my 40s with this ting
<frot> lol
<penisbird> why do you have one
<penisbird> do you think it gets you girls
<frot> plus i'll be cremated
<rolloffle> will archaeologists of the future dig up your rusted cock ring?
<frot> so when they shake my urn
<frot> so when they shake my urn
<frot> so when they shake my urn
<rolloffle> clatter clatter
<rolloffle> ching ching
<frot> i'll shake rattle and roll
<frot> i'll shake rattle and roll
<frot> i'll shake rattle and roll
<frot> from beyond the grave

#1298

+ | - (70.59 / 34)

buttes #cockes

<incog> I remember the time when i signed up to the stormfront forums with the username The_Ghost_of_Martin_Luther_King
<incog> i have never been banned so fast in my life
<incog> I only got one post in
<incog> and that was WooooooooooOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOoooooooooooOOOOOOOOOOOOOOooooooooooooo

#1293

+ | - (71.43 / 7)

<jre|awau> -> lorihdc: 11/f/Vancouver in need of cock
<jre|awau> lorihdc: [away] Your IM has been sent to my mobile device. When I receive it, I will be able to reply. Thanks for your IM! Want your IMs forwarded to your phone? Click here
<jre|awau> -> lorihdc: MY LOVE IS PRECIOUS, BEAUTIFUL AND PURE... YOU WILL FEEL THE WRATH OF THE LORD FOR TURNING ME DOWN

#1301

+ | - (83.33 / 12)

buttes #cockes

<moira__> I couldn't impregnate stupid white canadian girl and get away with it
<moira__> she knows here I work
<darren> does she know about your goonfleet allegiance
<jnz> darren: he wears the insignia on his shirt and taps it every so often and talks into it like on star trek
<moira__> how dare you

#47

+ | - (57.5 / 40)

Evolnet

<ZeRo^CoOl> ITS A CELERON GET OVER IT
<l0de> Zero- it's a machine I can use.
<l0de> And I'm going to fix it, or kill like 10000000 niggers trying.
<ZeRo^CoOl> ILL GIVE YOU A CELERON IF YOU COME PICK IT UP YOU FUCKING BABY
<l0de> Zero- I'll pay you to ship it.
<ZeRo^CoOl> NO THATS TOO MUCH WORK
<ZeRo^CoOl> I HAVE TO GET A BOX AND STAMPS AND STUFF
<l0de> Zero, just take it to fedex and be like "box this nigga"
<ZeRo^CoOl> THAT WOULD REQUIRE GETTING UP AND GOING OVER THERE
<ZeRo^CoOl> WHEREAS YOU COMING TO ME IS SO MUCH EASIER
<l0de> zero- yeah, you live fucking 3000 miles away.
<ZeRo^CoOl> SO YOU CAN COME HERE ON THE WAY TO PLUTONS HOUSE
<l0de> Zero, you're NOT ON THE WAY TO PLUTONS HOUSE
<l0de> PLUTON LIVES IN NY
<ZeRo^CoOl> SO THATS CLOSE STUPID
<l0de> ZERO- YOU LIVE ON THE OTHER FUCKING SIDE OF THE CONTINENT!
<ZeRo^CoOl> LOOK AT A MAP YOU IDIOT NEW YORK ONLY LIKE 5 INCHES AWAY

#85

+ | - (84.62 / 26)

Evolnet

<Ich> i love goatsing AOLers
<Ich> it's like rape
<Ich> you're taking away an innocense
<Ich> that will never come back

#3501

+ | - (100 / 3)

hardchats #anti

<Mutiny> during buring man is when SF is actually tolerable

#529

+ | - (83.33 / 12)

<sam> zeba: i ended up going to a noodle shop. a guy there sold me a pack of 40 chopsticks for $1
<pamplmoose> 40 chopsticks aren't worth a $1
<pamplmoose> 20 asian meals aren't worth a $1
<jre|emo> 20 asians aren't worth $1

#1435

+ | - (75 / 12)

buttes #cockes

<@eam> Al, all things in life are mathematical
<@eam> you're discussing math right now
<@Al> really
<@Al> cos i can't think of anything mathematical except mathematics
<@eam> "cos" I get it, a math joke
<@eam> good one
<@Al> huh
<@Al> some kid i met last year calculated the approximate volume of my erect penis
<@Al> that is the closest i have ever come to useful math in my life
<@Al> the rest is all bullshitology
<@eam> so how loud was it?
<@Al> hurr

#3295

+ | - (0 / 2)

buttesnet

<afed> i think an organization is broken if the message "no, that's a stupid request" can't pass up the chain of command
<afed> whether a cop can't say that to his supervisor or if the director of the DEA can't say that to the president
<vxp> i think in most organizations you have a good chance of getting canned if you give lip to a superior
<afed> ok well how about this
<afed> my boss routinely requests stupid things
<afed> i simply don't do them

#1990

+ | - (72.73 / 11)

buttesnet

<incog> hy al, im joining the army :(
<incog> im gonna take 6 months before i apply getting fit and clean of druqz
<Al> sure you are
<Zaphod> incog: why are you doing that
<incog> i need a purpose in life
<incog> i think it may be killing mudpeople
<Zaphod> incog: you can kill brown people in your own hometown you know
<incog> not for money
<Zaphod> you're not asking the right people

 3626 quotes approved; 24 pending approval.