lolqdb |
latest 50 quotes |
|
Home / Latest / Random ≥50 / Browse / Top 50 100 / Bottom 50 / Submit Quote / Search / RSS | |
buttesnet
<popeye> i get my best nwo ideas while on large doses of hallucenogens
<popeye> i was on dmt and literally pyramids with eyes were radiating out of the cbs evening news
buttesnet
<popeye> dominos = nwo
<popeye> have you seen their ingredients list
<GaSSy> salt, grease
<popeye> its like gmo soybean oil and hydrogenated corn byproducts
<afed> fluoride
<popeye> plus i bet you could find something esoteric/satanic in their logo
<popeye> if you tried hard enough
<popeye> http://www.watblog.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/04/dominos.gif
<popeye> okay ill give this a shot
<popeye> the first thing that comes to my mind is the divided blue and red blocks
<popeye> which to me symbolizes the false left-right paradigm
<popeye> the domino is of the number 3, an important nwo number
<popeye> there appers to be two dominos, the bottom one hiding the number, with the name "dominos pizza" over it
<popeye> showing that dominos
<popeye> is a front organization
<popeye> for eugenics
buttesnet
<popeye> oprah is just a fat fear mongering faggot who preys on people's insecurities
<popeye> oh cool new alex jones show is on
buttesnet
<blaze> ya I bought Lolita thinking itd make for good wank material
<blaze> I am sorly disappointed
<blaze> still going to jizz in the pages and return it
<afed> lolita has a section of blank pages in the back for that
buttesnet
<afed> i think an organization is broken if the message "no, that's a stupid request" can't pass up the chain of command
<afed> whether a cop can't say that to his supervisor or if the director of the DEA can't say that to the president
<vxp> i think in most organizations you have a good chance of getting canned if you give lip to a superior
<afed> ok well how about this
<afed> my boss routinely requests stupid things
<afed> i simply don't do them
r4l
<el_vez> Today marks the 90th anniversary of the ratification of the 19th Amendment which granted American women the right to vote
<GaSSy> day of mourning
buttesnet
<devi> NIGERIANS ANCESTORS CAN BE TRACED BACK TO SCANDINAVIA AND THEY'RE NORDIC-LOOKING PEOPLE AND ONE OF MOST PROSPEROUS NATIONS ON EARTH, DO NOT BE FOOLED BY CIA-BIASED STATISTICS
buttesnet
<zapanig> UFO reporting center operator is on the radio right now
<zapanig> complaining
<zapanig> that 80% of the calls he gets are prank calls
<zapanig> lol
<zapanig> he's talking about trolls
<zapanig> but he doesn't know enough to call them trolls
<zapanig> it's like this thing that he is discovering
buttesnet
<vxp> I love Independence Day, the part where Rick Moranis saves the world by uploading a virus into the alien macs is my favorite part
<afed> uh
buttesnet
<abez> 22:25 < afed> Is there any way to legitimately get a date with Natalie Portman? (self.AskReddit)
<abez> afed: haha that's so slashdot
<afed> srsly
<afed> i remember when i was in high school
<afed> i tried to approach the same problem logically
<afed> how can i legitimately get a date with jessica alba?
<afed> the two main possibilities were orchestrating a chance encounter and writing her a non-creepy letter asking her out
buttesnet
<zapanig> did you buy some joints already rolled
<incog> just one, after winkie and his roommate were too stoned to roll for me
<zapanig> they are rolled nice but usu lame weed
<incog> fat as my thumb but it was mixed with tobacco replacement
<incog> (pencil shavings)
<incog> i gave about .5g to hzu on the last day because i was blazed and always get searched at the airport
<incog> i was searched and patted down four times, twice each way
<incog> then stopped by the popo at the bus station in bradford
buttesnet
<popeye> did you know if you allow a horse to drink municipal water it gets sick and dies
<popeye> and its balls shrink too
buttesnet
<abez> zybl0re: can you hand in slash fiction?
<abez> zybl0re: you could have a bardeen, shockley and brattain slash fiction story
<abez> zybl0re: how 3-somes gave them the idea for transistors
<zybl0re> okay so who had the smallest penis
<zybl0re> and was he able to control the other two with it
<zybl0re> o_O
<abez> are any of them italian?
<abez> or conversely, scottish?
<vxp> brattain
<abez> vxp: nice
<abez> brattain had the smallest penis
<zybl0re> that's where their names came form
<zybl0re> base
<zybl0re> collector
<zybl0re> emitter
<vxp> bottom
<vxp> catcher
<zybl0re> collected dicks
<vxp> emitter
<zybl0re> emitted jizz
buttesnet
<zybl0re> I guess I better be movin on
<zybl0re> to the library
<vxp> zybl0re: so you can work on your paper about the transistor?
<zybl0re> vxp: urmom is a transistor
<abez> she's so DOPED UP
buttesnet
<popeye> although since i worked the night shift i slept on the floor
<popeye> or i'd just "work from home"
<popeye> i was the only one in the building
<popeye> one time i stumbled out of the bathroom with shit sitll on my butt to answer the phone
<popeye> and logged into an hp-ux box
<popeye> which is fitting, really
buttesnet
<popeye> i accidentally linked our dba a pic from 4chan of a girl from azumanga daioh being fucked by a dog
<popeye> nothing ever happend
<popeye> for all i know he fapped to it
<popeye> and another time someone came in to relieve me from my shift
<popeye> i had my browser minimized and i said "let me show you these graphs, cause they're important"
<popeye> and i opend the browser and the tab i was corrently on was of a drawing of a lizard girl with her tail up her butt
<popeye> and i just moved to the graph tab like nothing happend
<popeye> and proceeded to explain the data
<popeye> and he never said anything
<popeye> i didnt even clear my throat
buttesnet
<zapanig> ww2 was the last just war
<abez> ww1 wasn't just
<abez> what was the last last just war
<zapanig> ww2 came after that
<abez> no I'm asking what was the just war prior to ww2
<zapanig> the War of northern Aggression
<abez> uhhh
<abez> I wouldn't call that just either
buttesnet
<incog> [22:28] <mcpen15> __ ~ /^ __
<incog> [22:28] <mcpen15> /..\ ( _) ~/..\
<incog> [22:28] <mcpen15> \_O/ (_ __) \O_/
<incog> [22:28] <mcpen15> (___ __)
<incog> apple keynote
buttesnet #onebutan
<captain_g> 1) Why are men required to be the pursuers? Women are seen as trophies, objects to be captured and paraded around, but why is this the case? Why must men be the ones to exert all the risk, the ones to potentially face rejection?
<captain_g>
<captain_g> 2) Why are women so cold toward men in their pursuits that society reinforces? Is there a biological reckoning to this, or is it purely cultural?
<Al> 3) Why don't girls like me, I am polite and considerate and only throw a tantrum and cry when my nauseatingly clammy advances completely and utterly fail to get me any pussy, ever, waaah waaah waaah?
<Al> 4) Why will nobody even try to understand HOW HARD IT IS TO BE ME
<Al> 5) INTERNET
buttesnet
<incog> i scrapped a whold bunch of shit yesterday including a transit van
<incog> 4 petrol lawnmowers
<vxp> stolen from work
<incog> nah, cleaning my garage out
<vxp> you had 4 lawnmowers just sitting rusting in your garage?
<incog> yeah
<zapanig> and a ford van?
<incog> yeah
buttesnet
<incog> im sick of youtubes urls, i want to be able to tell from the url alone if its some alex jones shit
<incog> Europe's Rosetta probe swings by the 100km-wide Asteroid Lutetia, the largest space rock yet visited by a satellite.
<incog> europe #1
<zapanig> the "largest space rock" does that include things like neptune and saturn
<incog> those are gas giants
Comment: zapanig trying to defend his country
buttesnet
<incog> i just taped a scented candle to the front of my fan
<incog> to make an air freshener
buttesnet
<incog> if the world ends, i will take solace in the fact i never have to read afed's inane, embarassing, worthless chat again
<afed> if any form of afterlife exists you can bet i will be chatting to you
<incog> p sure i'll be fist pounding satan and you will be having a pineapple rammed into your ass by hitler
<afed> sounds hot
<incog> its the closest you'll ever get to sexual contact
<afed> then satan starts fellating me while hitler twists the pineapple around while you fellate satan and hitler eats your asshole
<incog> you've been reading twilight again
<afed> i didn't know hitler was in twilight
<afed> ordering...
buttesnet
<hzu> i'm out of putty
<hzu> need to putty the crap out of this wall
<afed> why bother, the world is coming to an end
<afed> http://www.helium.com/items/1882339-doomsday-how-bp-gulf-disaster-may-have-triggered-a-world-killing-event
<incog> if the world ends, i will take solace in the fact i never have to read afed's inane, embarassing, worthless chat again
buttesnet
<incog> i think supressing my obnoxiousness enough to work in an office would give me a brain tumour
buttesnet
<afed> popeye: what's the nwo position on sailboats
<popeye> the nwo has nothing to do with them as far as i know
<afed> ok
<vxp> <afed> what about kristen bell
<vxp> <afed> this is important
<afed> yes thanks vxp
<afed> popeye: is kristen bell a nwo agent
<afed> very important
<afed> since she is my wife
buttesnet
< incog> The python tried to swallow the alligator whole and then exploded
< incog> this fat
< hzu> sweet
<&vxp> hahaha
<&vxp> should've imported the zlib module
buttes #onehitter
<aaron> i was listening to some piece about the neurobiology of sociopaths
<aaron> and i thought "hey that sounds like me!"
<aaron> until they got to the part about raping and murdering a small girl
buttesnet #onehitter
< hzu> i charged someone $30 to rape me in the ass
< hzu> wait
< hzu> what
< jihad> ಠ_à²
< hzu> i'm channeling the ghost of sam's buttesnet
< hzu> because it is dead
< hzu> you see
buttes
| JacksonB| 4chan boards ar just a giant numbersstation
| JacksonB| hide secret plans in the clp
| JacksonB| cp
| JacksonB| thats why 4chan never gets shut down over cp
| JacksonB| agents post it with hidden messages
| JacksonB| and most people wont save
| JacksonB| those who do would never show it to anyone
buttesnet
<odinala> http://sphotos.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-ash1/hs333.ash1/28797_1309769624298_1232337310_30859206_1710058_n.jpg LOOK AT THIS GUINEA EYEBROWS D8!!!!!
<odinala> D8{
<popeye> dialsperm apparently browses facebook all day and stares at his 8 year old cousins or something
<popeye> i mean i do that too
<odinala> no u r
<popeye> my cousins are hotter than yours though
<popeye> much hotter
buttesnet
<popeye> theres this guy called lambastor in #gnaa
<popeye> who sounds like popeye
<popeye> hes always talking about freedoms and nwo stuff
<vxp> finally, someone who can confirm your dumbass theories about 9/11 conspiracies and fluoride for you
<popeye> my theory is that fluoride filled planes crashed into the twin towers
buttesnet #flashsupport
< necco> i bet aspergers that run wikipedia put jain in their profile just to have a swastika
buttesnet #gapp
< popeye> i think i developed several fetishes when i read black beauty when i was like 11 years old
buttesnet
<popeye> i already embarrassed my family when they found my furry porn
<incog> was it straight furry
<popeye> nah it was dickgirls
<+mao> JOHNNY NIGGER
<+mao> JOHNNY NIGGER
<+mao> JOHNNY NIGGER
< Computers> lol dongs
Comment: a typical day in gnaa
Buttesnet #flashsupport
< wolffenstein> i installed ubuntu on my sis's computer a long time back and she hasn't had any trouble
< wolffenstein> she's hardly computer savvy
< wolffenstein> well actually it worked great until she wanted netflix instant watch
< wolffenstein> then i had to pirate windows
buttes #flashsupport
< weev____> the issue with perl is that it looks like vomit
< weev____> and perl developers are at worst bearded pedophiles who dont shower
< weev____> and at best dysfunctional alcoholic aspergers cases like bradfitz
<@TurkBuntu64> this K-Y warming liquid doesn't work
<@TurkBuntu64> i keep pouring it into my coffee and it's still cold
hardchats #gnaa
nstyr| so I opened #ubuntu today
nstyr| <Guest93169> i am in xchat
nstyr| <Guest93169> and i cant install java
nstyr| is the first thing I see
nstyr| ah #ubuntu
#buttes #onebutan
<Al> BP says it is still generating new ideas, partly thanks to more than 28,000 suggestions from the public. "We've taken bits and pieces from the ideas that have come into us," a spokesman said.
<Al> oh that's just fucking awesome
<zybl0re> so they finally admit they have no idea what they're doing
<Al> BP is now down to soliciting ideas from Joe-Jack Stupid
<zenwhen> I KNOW HOW TO PLUG THE HOLE
<zenwhen> PUT ALL OF THE NIGGERS IN IT
<zenwhen> :D
<Al> well your mom tried that and look what happened
<+OGRE_LUBE> I want to know, if pedophiles molest children, what do audiophiles do to audio?
<@el_vez> molest children
Comment: It's true